60 Days...and Counting!

Hello readers! Today, I'm very proud to announce that it is "Life In a Scots Sitting Room's" 60-day birthday! TWO MONTHS OLD! There were those of you who thought we'd never make it this far (- I know, 'cos I was one of them). Some who thought that I'd run out of quality rubbish to write about (she can't have that much to say, surely she'll shut-up soon?), and others who innocently thought that, if they just ignored me, I'd go away (how can anyone be so wrong?).


But, here we are at the two month mark, and I've still got more ideas than ever for posts relating to absolutely nothing of importance! Occasionally, something factual or educational, interesting even, might sneakily creep in (like me accidentally discovering that the guy who invented the Diesel engine was called Rudolf), but that's usually in the "comments"section, rather than the actual post itself (especially Alistair's thesis of "A History of How Dutch has Influenced the American Language" - see under my post Big Cheese Update).


BUT, WAIT A MINUTE! - LOOK at the Top Ten exciting things that have happened with my blog
- IN ONLY 60 SHORT DAYS:

[SFX intro music...... jazzy "what's hot in the world of entertainment" music]

[CUE PRESENTER:]

MAX HEADROOM (remember him?)

"LIFE IN A SCOTS SITTING ROOM" - 60 DAY ROUND-UP!
(AKA - LINKS TO OLD CLASSIC POSTS THAT LOTS OF YOU HAVEN'T READ YET! DO IT! - DO IT NOW! You know you want to, really!) (with non-related pictures, 'cos just a list looked pretty boring on it's own)

1/. I GOT AN AWARD FOR MY BLOG! okay, so I still don't know if it's real, or just a marketing gimmick - BUT WHO CARES? - IT'S AN AWARD, DAMMIT!!!
And, if that wasn't enough excitement, on the same day  "Life In a Scots Sitting Room" GOT MENTIONED ON RADIO 2 - ONLY THE MOST LISTENED TO RADIO STATION IN THE UK!!!

2/. I GOT ORDAINED AS A DUDEIST PRIEST! Sweet! Abide!

3/. I STARTED A BLOG FEUD WITH A CHEESY YANK (that was "Yank" people,- I don't resort to crude schoolboy humour here. (That's a blatant lie)) who spells "humour" as "humor".

4/. CHEESY YANK DREW A CARTOON ABOUT ME!!! (it's quite insulting, but I've never been "cartooned" before, and considering he's never seen what I look like, frighteningly accurate) (and it's funny, though I hate to admit it)

5/. I GOT A MENTION IN "SOTTISH ROUND-UP" - a political blog review site!!! (go figure - someone (Andrew Reeves) must have been at the hip flask that day!)

6/. I DISCLOSED TO THE WORLD MY EXPERIENCE WITH MI5!!! (true story, by the way.)

(read the blue sign behind, too!)

7/. I INTRODUCED THE WORLD TO WHERE I LIVE (Trumpton, Trumptonshire, Scottish Borders, UK (please don't send cheques for large sums/parcels to this address before 10am))

8/. I EXPOSED THE FACT THAT ALIENS (or possibly teenage guys, whatever...) are using Ice Cream Vans for dubious purposes...IN TRUMPTON!!!

(I'll have whatever they're drinking)

9/. MY NEW INNOCENT BYSTANDERS FRIENDS Cheeseman, Kelly and Klahanie ALL put "Life In a Scots Sitting Room" ON THEIR BLOG ROLLS! (Aw, I'm touched, you guys! (- but don't worry, I'm not gonna press charges))

10/. I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT A DONATE BUTTON ON MY BLOG. Did you see it? I'm starting an experiment to see how many times it needs to be clicked before the paint wears off....... THAT'S A HINT GUYS! (no link here - you're meant to be looking for the donate button (under my profile pic, right hand side) and getting out your credit cards.)

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Not making it to the Top Ten list, but also worth a mention, I think, is my attempt at a "Top Gear" style post. And the three posts I wrote to get rid of some built-up puns (which can turn nasty if left untreated). See them here, here, and here.



And so to...........



Coming Soon.....(well, soon-ish, anyway) (or, My Big "To Do Next" list!)

I still haven't worked out how to do the accent-y things on French words, even though I've been given very good and precise instructions from Stewart (my technical manager). But I can't seem to get the time [read as: don't really care that much]. I would like to get to grips with German umlauts, as I have hopes of finding a German blogger to argue with at some point in the future, and one needs to be well-equipped to deal with a humorous German (they tend to take humour, especially sarcasm, very seriously in my experience.). I put a link to the Fawlty Towers "Don't mention the War" scene in my post Not Jim, Rudolf, but don't think that it really counts as a pre-emptive strike.



I have figured out that there are things called Meta Tags. I even understand what they're for, and have a rough idea of how they work. I have even found some good sites that give detailed instructions as to how to do these Meta Tags, and have tried my best to follow them. But, either I am totally inept at HTML, or my laptop needs to read some advice too, because I cannot for the life of me get it to work on my blog. Apparently they're pretty crucial, so I should probably do something (more than sitting shaking my head at the screen) about it.



I'm hoping to find it easier to add a Blog Roll on my site, so that I can put up a list of the best blogs I've come across on my travels, so that you good, trusting people can be exposed to more funny/irrelevant stuff (and also some good quality serious blogs), but written by other bloggers, so that you can see it's not just me who writes random, bizarre stuff that wastes not just our time, but you're time as well, when we could all be getting on with real work, or worthy causes, or planning revolts, or whatever it is you people do when you're not reading this blog..... (why would you even want to do anything else - it's all here people!)

I'm also gradually finding my way round the numerous opportunities open to me for sticking adverts up on my site in a hope that you'll buy stuff. I then get a commission on the thousands you spend buying books, music, or whatever, as recommended by me (oh, the power!). That's the theory. The fact is that I keep getting distracted by the stuff I could buy (once I eventually start earning some money fro this blog!). Or review, or recommend, and end up thinking "I'm sure I have that book somewhere. Let me see if I can find it."........ Two hours later, I'll remember that I was actually meant to be researching how to add it into my site. Must try harder on this one and, when I get it sussed, I will be demanding you buy stuff, so that I can earn some pennies (well, you've all managed to ignore the "Donate" button so far, and a girl's gotta live). But I love reading, and already have lots of great books to recommend to you (my lovely, lovely readers who, I'm sure, haven't been deliberately ignoring the "Donate" button, but just hadn't realised I'd added it - correct?).

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So, that's my "Life In a Scots Sitting Room" 60 day round-up done. I hope that those of you who are regular readers managed to surface from the fuzzy depths of your medication long enough to read it, and enjoy the stroll down memory lane, and those of you who are new readers aren't too traumatised by the trip (mind you, I can hear at least one of you screaming for mercy even as I type).

I'm also hoping that you'll all come back for more (you just won't learn, will you?). Look out for my upcoming posts Not All Quentins are Queer, The Klingons Are Coming, and one where I'll be giving a step-by-step guide in how to get a job as an undercover agent with the CIA (it'll probably have a snappy title, like "How To Get A Job With the CIA As An Undercover Agent", or something similar).

Finally, I have to apologise firstly to the person who Google searched "anthroposophy", found my site in the list, and clicked, only to be led, completely unprepared, to my Not Jim, Rudolf post. We can only send our best wishes for a speedy recovery.

My second apology is to the person who found a link, to the same post, through the "Christmas" listing in an online magazine. They've even put my picture of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in their link to my site. Those of you who have followed to the link I put chose for Rudolf will understand the gravity of the situation, and how distressing it must have been to someone happily getting into the Christmas spirit (waaay tooooo early). Personally, I thought the irony of this was hilarious, and laughed out loud. A lot. It made my day, in fact! So, apologies, but, thanks for the laugh as well! 

To the person who asked if I do requests - no, I will not stop.

And I promise not to do another round-up for...oh...uhm.... at least a while.

GOODBYE!