Wednesday, 11 August 2010

60 Days...and Counting!

Hello readers! Today, I'm very proud to announce that it is "Life In a Scots Sitting Room's" 60-day birthday! TWO MONTHS OLD! There were those of you who thought we'd never make it this far (- I know, 'cos I was one of them). Some who thought that I'd run out of quality rubbish to write about (she can't have that much to say, surely she'll shut-up soon?), and others who innocently thought that, if they just ignored me, I'd go away (how can anyone be so wrong?).

But, here we are at the two month mark, and I've still got more ideas than ever for posts relating to absolutely nothing of importance! Occasionally, something factual or educational, interesting even, might sneakily creep in (like me accidentally discovering that the guy who invented the Diesel engine was called Rudolf), but that's usually in the "comments"section, rather than the actual post itself (especially Alistair's thesis of "A History of How Dutch has Influenced the American Language" - see under my post Big Cheese Update).

BUT, WAIT A MINUTE! - LOOK at the Top Ten exciting things that have happened with my blog

[SFX intro music...... jazzy "what's hot in the world of entertainment" music]


MAX HEADROOM (remember him?)

(AKA - LINKS TO OLD CLASSIC POSTS THAT LOTS OF YOU HAVEN'T READ YET! DO IT! - DO IT NOW! You know you want to, really!) (with non-related pictures, 'cos just a list looked pretty boring on it's own)

1/. I GOT AN AWARD FOR MY BLOG! okay, so I still don't know if it's real, or just a marketing gimmick - BUT WHO CARES? - IT'S AN AWARD, DAMMIT!!!
And, if that wasn't enough excitement, on the same day  "Life In a Scots Sitting Room" GOT MENTIONED ON RADIO 2 - ONLY THE MOST LISTENED TO RADIO STATION IN THE UK!!!


3/. I STARTED A BLOG FEUD WITH A CHEESY YANK (that was "Yank" people,- I don't resort to crude schoolboy humour here. (That's a blatant lie)) who spells "humour" as "humor".

4/. CHEESY YANK DREW A CARTOON ABOUT ME!!! (it's quite insulting, but I've never been "cartooned" before, and considering he's never seen what I look like, frighteningly accurate) (and it's funny, though I hate to admit it)

5/. I GOT A MENTION IN "SOTTISH ROUND-UP" - a political blog review site!!! (go figure - someone (Andrew Reeves) must have been at the hip flask that day!)

6/. I DISCLOSED TO THE WORLD MY EXPERIENCE WITH MI5!!! (true story, by the way.)

(read the blue sign behind, too!)

7/. I INTRODUCED THE WORLD TO WHERE I LIVE (Trumpton, Trumptonshire, Scottish Borders, UK (please don't send cheques for large sums/parcels to this address before 10am))

8/. I EXPOSED THE FACT THAT ALIENS (or possibly teenage guys, whatever...) are using Ice Cream Vans for dubious purposes...IN TRUMPTON!!!

(I'll have whatever they're drinking)

9/. MY NEW INNOCENT BYSTANDERS FRIENDS Cheeseman, Kelly and Klahanie ALL put "Life In a Scots Sitting Room" ON THEIR BLOG ROLLS! (Aw, I'm touched, you guys! (- but don't worry, I'm not gonna press charges))

10/. I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT A DONATE BUTTON ON MY BLOG. Did you see it? I'm starting an experiment to see how many times it needs to be clicked before the paint wears off....... THAT'S A HINT GUYS! (no link here - you're meant to be looking for the donate button (under my profile pic, right hand side) and getting out your credit cards.)


Not making it to the Top Ten list, but also worth a mention, I think, is my attempt at a "Top Gear" style post. And the three posts I wrote to get rid of some built-up puns (which can turn nasty if left untreated). See them here, here, and here.

And so to...........

Coming Soon.....(well, soon-ish, anyway) (or, My Big "To Do Next" list!)

I still haven't worked out how to do the accent-y things on French words, even though I've been given very good and precise instructions from Stewart (my technical manager). But I can't seem to get the time [read as: don't really care that much]. I would like to get to grips with German umlauts, as I have hopes of finding a German blogger to argue with at some point in the future, and one needs to be well-equipped to deal with a humorous German (they tend to take humour, especially sarcasm, very seriously in my experience.). I put a link to the Fawlty Towers "Don't mention the War" scene in my post Not Jim, Rudolf, but don't think that it really counts as a pre-emptive strike.

I have figured out that there are things called Meta Tags. I even understand what they're for, and have a rough idea of how they work. I have even found some good sites that give detailed instructions as to how to do these Meta Tags, and have tried my best to follow them. But, either I am totally inept at HTML, or my laptop needs to read some advice too, because I cannot for the life of me get it to work on my blog. Apparently they're pretty crucial, so I should probably do something (more than sitting shaking my head at the screen) about it.

I'm hoping to find it easier to add a Blog Roll on my site, so that I can put up a list of the best blogs I've come across on my travels, so that you good, trusting people can be exposed to more funny/irrelevant stuff (and also some good quality serious blogs), but written by other bloggers, so that you can see it's not just me who writes random, bizarre stuff that wastes not just our time, but you're time as well, when we could all be getting on with real work, or worthy causes, or planning revolts, or whatever it is you people do when you're not reading this blog..... (why would you even want to do anything else - it's all here people!)

I'm also gradually finding my way round the numerous opportunities open to me for sticking adverts up on my site in a hope that you'll buy stuff. I then get a commission on the thousands you spend buying books, music, or whatever, as recommended by me (oh, the power!). That's the theory. The fact is that I keep getting distracted by the stuff I could buy (once I eventually start earning some money fro this blog!). Or review, or recommend, and end up thinking "I'm sure I have that book somewhere. Let me see if I can find it."........ Two hours later, I'll remember that I was actually meant to be researching how to add it into my site. Must try harder on this one and, when I get it sussed, I will be demanding you buy stuff, so that I can earn some pennies (well, you've all managed to ignore the "Donate" button so far, and a girl's gotta live). But I love reading, and already have lots of great books to recommend to you (my lovely, lovely readers who, I'm sure, haven't been deliberately ignoring the "Donate" button, but just hadn't realised I'd added it - correct?).


So, that's my "Life In a Scots Sitting Room" 60 day round-up done. I hope that those of you who are regular readers managed to surface from the fuzzy depths of your medication long enough to read it, and enjoy the stroll down memory lane, and those of you who are new readers aren't too traumatised by the trip (mind you, I can hear at least one of you screaming for mercy even as I type).

I'm also hoping that you'll all come back for more (you just won't learn, will you?). Look out for my upcoming posts Not All Quentins are Queer, The Klingons Are Coming, and one where I'll be giving a step-by-step guide in how to get a job as an undercover agent with the CIA (it'll probably have a snappy title, like "How To Get A Job With the CIA As An Undercover Agent", or something similar).

Finally, I have to apologise firstly to the person who Google searched "anthroposophy", found my site in the list, and clicked, only to be led, completely unprepared, to my Not Jim, Rudolf post. We can only send our best wishes for a speedy recovery.

My second apology is to the person who found a link, to the same post, through the "Christmas" listing in an online magazine. They've even put my picture of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in their link to my site. Those of you who have followed to the link I put chose for Rudolf will understand the gravity of the situation, and how distressing it must have been to someone happily getting into the Christmas spirit (waaay tooooo early). Personally, I thought the irony of this was hilarious, and laughed out loud. A lot. It made my day, in fact! So, apologies, but, thanks for the laugh as well! 

To the person who asked if I do requests - no, I will not stop.

And I promise not to do another round-up for...oh...uhm.... at least a while.



Anonymous said...

60 days. Wow. Of course, since you take weekends off, that's only . . . some number less than 60 that I don't want to do the math to figure out.


And 17 followers.

Wonder if I can steal some more?

Brand New Day said...

Weekends off? Wha...? I'll have you know that I'm still busy working at weekends, even though I don't publish, I'm off spreading my pearls of wisdom [scribbling in other people's comments sections] about how the Scot's pronounce "Doug" (!), how the world will end, the usage of fowl language on blogs, how to stop toddlers whining (gaffer/duct tape), etc. I do all this, NOT to shamelessly promote my own blog, but out of the goodness of my heart, to reassure bloggers that they are not alone, and are being read (especially those unfortunate souls who have LESS THAN TWO-THIRDS OF THE FOLLOWERS I HAVE!).

Thanks for the Congrats though (just in case my MUM reads this)

klahanie said...

Greetings Brand New Day,
Many congratulations on reaching the '60-day birthday' milestone, or is that now called 'kilometrestone'?
Two months eh? Two months of action packed, fun filled entertainment.
You have a most impressive top ten list and number 9 really got my attention. Not that I, KLAHANIE, one of the most adored and respected bloggers known to man and now, visitors from other worlds, is self obsessed or anything:-)
Sorry, where was I? I first noted your excellent blog via my 'Yank' buddy, Kelly. I saw your fascinating interchange with him and felt compelled to check out and comment on your blog.
As you are aware, I have added you to my 'bog roll', I mean 'blog roll'. I hope that the few folks who actually visit my site will take note of your entertaining blog and link in with you.
Now speaking of 'Christmas' or as I affectionately call it, 'Boxing Day Eve', each December, I do a series of slightly cynical blogs about the festive season. Anyway, enough about ME, again.
I'm looking forward to many more stories from you. Your positive interaction is much appreciated.
Congratulations, once again, and happy blogging!
Kind wishes from some Canadian dude living in England. Yikes!
Gary :-)

Brand New Day said...

Greetings Klahanie! Once again you manage to make me blush with your compliments (but without the Kelly-like raspberry sound effect follow through!). I loved your "WEE.T." post (very funny), and I'm looking forward to your "cynical lead-up to Boxing Day Eve" posts, but have a feeling I might just get there before you (lookout!). From your adoring and respectful fan (one of millions), Brand New Day ;)

klahanie said...

Greetings again, Brand New Day,
Let's get you another comment on your total. Heck, if you have some kinda' site metre, this will help your 'hits'. Gee, I am such a nice dude.
You do an awesome blog and you have my respect and admiration for writing such thought provoking and brilliantly witty postings. There are you blushing some more? lol
Thanks for thinking my 'WEE.T' posting was amusing. I look forward to you discussing 'Boxing Day Eve' in a later posting. Seems like you might just be noting that 'tis the season to be merry', a bit sooner than me. We shall see.
I have observed that you have even more 'followers', now. I'm not surprised. Best wishes, from one of your biggest fans, Gary. Whoops! I just let one rip...Kelly would be so jealous:-)

Quasi said...

Hey Congrats on your 60 day anniversary. I love reading your blog.

I hope you dont mind but I have added a link to your blog on my bloglist.
Check it out and let me know if it is all good with you

Keep up the great work


Brand New Day said...



....sorry, guys....just passed-out for a moment there! You'll all understand my excitement if you've been to Quasi's AWESOME site. If not, get over there NOW (link on new post above, in lieu of blogroll, which I've yet to master). Many thanks Quasi, your link to my blogspot looks FAB, especially as it's right under the Blogmistress (for Baaaad Bloggers!). I'm lovin' it! I'm buzzin! I'm.......


....Soz guys, overexcited again......

Klahanie - All the lovely compliments and gentle banter....I knew it was too good to last, and your comment above began sooo politely as well. And then you had to let out you "inner Kelly" and let one rip, and it was a stinker as well! I........


.......ok, THAT wasn't excitement causing me to pass out that time, THAT was a lack of adequate protective breathing gear!

Thanks for the effort Klahanie, Kelly will be glad to hear you're keeping up the, well, I dunno what exactly you're keeping up, oh yeah, keeping DOWN the standards! Abide (but recommend you change your diet)! ;)